You make a lot of great points and I find myself agreeing with most of what you're saying. It might just be a subtle difference in opinion because, while I believe being likeable is a virtue, and it's vital to our livelihood that we get along with others, I just don't think it does us any good to worry about what other people think. Our moral responsibility is to treat others like we'd want to be treated. You mention a bunch of ways in your post about how we can do that and (9 times out of 10) people will like us for it. But we can't control the way people feel about us, so why not treat others really well and let the chips fall where they may?
Yes of course. It's hard to articulate the difference between being likable simply by being a good person and then the other side of the coin which is to manipulate people.
I hope you could see through the context that I obviously advocate for people to do well by others for its own sake, while also being intentional about the vibe we give to other people as an asset of sorts.
Oh for sure. No, I think I'm more questioning how far in either direction you should, or should not, care about what people think. To me, it's an interesting balance and I appreciate you exploring it.
Thank you for sharing the valuable experience. Let’s also share my experience.
As far as the warmth and competence being considered, it’s easy to run into two extremes. Once the warmth is earned as extreme, you will become so soft that it will be easy to turn down. On the other hand, once the competence is earned as extreme, you will become a totalitarian. It is due to the human inertia.
As once you become warm enough, things seem to become easier as people seem quite easy in reaching you. It’s also a weak point as for people attacking you easily. As you become more competent, it’s hard of you to release them as human trends in difficulty releasing things belongs for them originally.
As far as the gossip being concerned, you are having the same opinion as Sonia, the lecturer of Strategy of Content Marketing by Coursera. In the course, she also mentioned that she’s totally disagreed with people being gossipy in the working environment. As things may be overwhelmed as if gossips are about bad things and it is difficult to control.
“Know yourself and your enemy, and you will be victorious in every battle.”
But, I will also stay still in writing. I stay still in content marketing to learn more and lead myself in my remaining life career. After I know more about the content marketing, I recognize that writing is so magic.
I've fallen into the idea that I need EVERYONE to like me. Often to the detriment of my own mental health or my work. For the past few years I've instead thought, "I want to *connect* with people."
You make a lot of great points and I find myself agreeing with most of what you're saying. It might just be a subtle difference in opinion because, while I believe being likeable is a virtue, and it's vital to our livelihood that we get along with others, I just don't think it does us any good to worry about what other people think. Our moral responsibility is to treat others like we'd want to be treated. You mention a bunch of ways in your post about how we can do that and (9 times out of 10) people will like us for it. But we can't control the way people feel about us, so why not treat others really well and let the chips fall where they may?
Yes of course. It's hard to articulate the difference between being likable simply by being a good person and then the other side of the coin which is to manipulate people.
I hope you could see through the context that I obviously advocate for people to do well by others for its own sake, while also being intentional about the vibe we give to other people as an asset of sorts.
Oh for sure. No, I think I'm more questioning how far in either direction you should, or should not, care about what people think. To me, it's an interesting balance and I appreciate you exploring it.
I have felt this way ever since reading the first “you don’t need anyone” post years ago. Thanks for outlining why that is such terrible advice.
Agreed. Thanks for your feedback mark.
Really good article. Extremely helpful 🙏
Thanks Roscoe
Thank you for sharing this take.❤️
Hi
Thank you for sharing the valuable experience. Let’s also share my experience.
As far as the warmth and competence being considered, it’s easy to run into two extremes. Once the warmth is earned as extreme, you will become so soft that it will be easy to turn down. On the other hand, once the competence is earned as extreme, you will become a totalitarian. It is due to the human inertia.
As once you become warm enough, things seem to become easier as people seem quite easy in reaching you. It’s also a weak point as for people attacking you easily. As you become more competent, it’s hard of you to release them as human trends in difficulty releasing things belongs for them originally.
As far as the gossip being concerned, you are having the same opinion as Sonia, the lecturer of Strategy of Content Marketing by Coursera. In the course, she also mentioned that she’s totally disagreed with people being gossipy in the working environment. As things may be overwhelmed as if gossips are about bad things and it is difficult to control.
“Know yourself and your enemy, and you will be victorious in every battle.”
But, I will also stay still in writing. I stay still in content marketing to learn more and lead myself in my remaining life career. After I know more about the content marketing, I recognize that writing is so magic.
I've fallen into the idea that I need EVERYONE to like me. Often to the detriment of my own mental health or my work. For the past few years I've instead thought, "I want to *connect* with people."
Great summary of great advice. Reading it, built confidence in your competence. So your article works!