The Utility of Negative Self Talk

I’ve been sick. I was 98% sure I had Covid. I took a Covid test and it came back negative. I was certain that it was a false negative, but then Juliana’s test came back negative as well. So maybe I caught the winter flu or something.

Last night was the first time I was well enough to go for a walk. Jules and I took a quick loop around the block. The cold air felt great on my face.

We talked about the way I have been talking to myself recently.

The things I have been saying to myself have not been kind.

When I observe these kind of behaviors, I always wonder “what is the value in this?”

I can’t think of any. There is no value in being mean to yourself. You get nothing from it. You can’t cure pain with more pain.

I'm feeling better this morning. It’s the first morning in which I woke up and didn’t have terrible nightmares. (Am I the only one who has terrible dreams when I’m sick?")

I started the day with some good music, some good vibes, and a positive mindset. I’m finally able to take some time to plan out my year.

2021 is going to be great.